The Mortal asks:

Does anyone know how to determine the windspeed from a windcone?

The Kite Oracle replies:

You can tell the windspeed at a kite festival by observation of your surroundings:

Beaufort Scale
0Beer sales increase
1Banners start to rustle, annoyingly
2Carbon kites fly, poorly
3Fibreglass kites fly, poorly
4Ultralight kites break
5Novice buggiers get injured
6Lynn kite breaks free destroying property
7Cabanas collapse
8Swivel on spinsock seizes
9Spectra snaps in the middle
10Gyrokite flies, poorly
11Beer sales increase

You owe the Kite oracle four Uberraschungseier to supply components for his home-made Anometer